
Remember what happened in the Garden of Eden when God exposed the sin of Adam & Eve? They quickly learned to play the blame game as Adam blamed his wife and Eve blamed the serpent. It’s interesting to me that they must have known that God knew the truth, and yet, they still tried to place the blame on another.
Being the descendants of Adam and Eve, we’ve all learned to play the blame game as well. Imagine this scenario....
When Stevie took Johnny’s toy car, Johnny quickly began his retribution by hitting Stevie on top of the head with a toy bat. When called to answer for his actions, Johnny said "but he took my car!" thinking this was an adequate excuse for his behavior.
Years later, John is in an argument with his wife. He's said some ugly things and realizes his hurtful words can't be taken back. His actions can't be undone. So he reverts to what he learned as a young boy and begins placing blame. He minimizes his own part in their argument and begins finding fault in his wife. Now, the damage is multiplied. While he’s trying to make himself look better, he’s just hurting his wife more.
I remember my dad talking about the early days of his & Mom's marriage. At that time, he was leading a rough life. He played music in a rock-n-roll band and did a lot of the things that went along with that lifestyle. Coming home to a christian wife was very convicting for him and he said there were many night's when, knowing she would wonder where he’d been, he would come through the door and immediately start a fight with her. He said he would be loud and make a lot of noise, doing anything he could to place the blame on anyone or anything other than himself. Thankfully, things changed at our house because Dad wasn't able to outrun the Holy Spirit and after three years of Mom praying for him, gave his life to the Lord!
Looking at the fictional story and my parent’s story, was it obvious that John was wrong in putting blame onto Stevie for his wrong actions? Of course! Was it also obvious that, as an adult, John was doing additional wrong to his wife by not being honest and admitting he had wronged her? Absolutely! Just like it was obvious that my dad was trying to pick fights in order to not own up to his actions and it was God’s work in his life that changed those traits in him.
So how can we learn from this? How can we help ourselves not make the same mistakes? First of all, we stop playing the blame game and learn that as I Cor. 13 states, love does not seek it's own. We own up to our actions and take responsibility for what we do, both good and bad. Second, we humble ourselves. Admit when we're wrong, apologize and work to repair the damage we've done. In the end, our hearts will be clear and our relationships will be sweeter!
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