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As most days in my life, they start with the ringing of the phones, hunting my little boys shoes and homework from the night before, cooking breakfast, pulling my hair out, and trying to get him to school on time all before 7 am. The past two weeks have been extremely hard on me. Why? I have gotten my days and nights mixed up due to stress. The past month has been like a whirlwind. I have found myself at a crossroads. A road I thought I passed a long time ago. I thought this was miles behind me. I figured this road had grown over with the fruits of my labor, the asphalt had sunk into the earth as I moved forward and left my crossroads behind. Well, it didn't. It was still there, paved and shiny.

I was battling something. Is this God talking to me? Or is this the devil? Did I really need to get out of gospel music and leave all the politics, griping, egos, promotions, management behind? As another promotional month came to a close, I looked in the mirror. For some reason I couldn't get comfortable with my own skin. I constantly try to live the life God has called me to, but, my life and knowledge of the promotions business has worn my spirit out. Its my 16th year of promoting. I was so exhausted battling myself.

It hit me when I was throwing the football with my son one evening.

He said, "Dad did you win the charts this month? You look like you lost."

I thought I was hiding my inner turmoil well. But, it was obvious. I was battling an old demon. Was I ready to step out of the radio promotions world and back into my own body? Was I ready to wake up and face the day without fighting the nay sayers and live a normal life?

Then I remembered my first year as a promoter in Nashville when an old record promoter from the Cashbox days told me, "A good promoter will risk it all for a record he believes in. A good promoter will sacrifice it all for his records." I also remembered this promoter being called to testify in the murder of Cashbox Magazines chart tabulator, Kevin Hughes.

Let me stray just a second so I can tell you the story of a man that helped change the way radio promotions operate. Kevin Hughes was the new director of charts at Cashbox Magazine. He was in charge of counting the charts, adding and removing radio stations from the charting list, and tabulating the weekly charts. Little did this young man know, he was about to be entering the hidden world of Nashville and its radio promoters, Mafia, pay offs and chart fixing. In his first week he was approached by several industry leaders to clean up the charts and make them more legitimate. In his quest to make Cashbox Magazine a reputable airplay chart, he dropped stations that were dishonest and refused to take any money for placing songs on the charts by radio promoters or independent labels. This was a common practice making millions for everyone involved. Kevin was starting to get worried about his job here in Nashville. He voiced concern to his family and fellow workers. Nashville at that time was like the turf wars on the "Godfather." You never knew who was paid off or out to get you.

The Mafia radio promoters were out to pay Kevin Hughes off. Kevin was approached by a couple of radio promoters at a country radio seminar and offered an envelope with $15,000 to fix the charts that week. He refused and told the promoters he was wanting Cashbox Magazines charts to be legitimate. He told them the shady radio stations and buying chart positions was over. He stood his ground. The promoters decided to take the $15,000 and have the chart tabulator murdered.

One dark night while Kevin and up and coming country singer, Sammy Sadler, were leaving a Music Row studio they were ambushed by a man in a ski mask. As Sadler was entering on the passenger side of Kevin's vehicle, a man, wearing gloves and a mask and displaying a gun, appeared at Sadler’s door. Sadler threw up his arms to protect his head and was shot once, as Kevin ran for his life screaming. He was shot several times, as he fell to the ground begging for his life the hit man fired the deadly shots into Kevin Hughes. Kevin Hughes died along with his dreams and his of his career in the world of radio promotions, charts.

I still don't know why the murder of Kevin was on my mind that day. Or why every song I had ever worked was playing in my mind as I threw that football with my son. But, I knew that Kevin stood for what he believed. He fought for what was right, when it felt wrong. He lived up to his name to the end.

I thought if this were secular music only and my job was not helping others and seeing lives changed and souls being saved, I would walk in a heartbeat. I would shut the doors and never look back. But, it wasn't. It was my calling, it was my destiny, it was my place in life. I knew without a doubt God called me to promote the Word.

Watching from my bedroom window one night I started to cry. I thought, "God if you called me to do this, why is it so hard? Why is the opposition tough for so many? Why do we have to endure so much?" The devil began to move in, "You're not in His will, you're in it for the glory, in it for the fame, in it for the awards."

I realized something that night looking out that window. My calling was stronger than my fears, politics, or the devils defeating words. It was stronger than my doubt. I also knew that every time I help an artist chart their first record, or get to hear their song on the radio, it gives me a flash back of my first days in the music industry when I was excited. I remembered that dreams do come true. I realized I was in a spiritual battle. I was being tested and tried. God had big plans for me. He still has lives somewhere in the world that would soon be reached by one of the artist that God sends my way. A shut in would someday soon be lifted up in the dark of night because I was man enough to stand my ground and answer my calling not for a season but for my lifetime..

Rick Hendrix
http://www.rickhendrix.com

Reader Comments

i think we all battle this anymore. as a fan of southern gospel i wonder everyday how i can fit in Gods plan and live in this world. i am not a singer or big person i am a nobody but i too battle the same daily questions. i will lift you up rick and thank God for your hard work. i love reading your columns and will put you on my prayer list. you must be doing something right the devil doesnt fight his own

Its just like God. We have started a great prayer list
And honestly you never know where a Hendrix column will go. I have seen one article roll out 40 different subjects.LOL
Dale

Great article again, Buddy. Like Justin and Sue, I can empathize with your struggle, because I struggle with this stuff too. And I'm just a simple songwriter.

Just last night I was praying and I was telling God, "Maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this." Every song I demo to artists gets ignored. Silence. Months of silence. I wish someone would have the guts to call me or e-mail me and say,"These songs are horrible, Chris," so I can write some better ones.

The only positive feedback I've gotten on any of my songs came from... Rick Hendrix. And that encouragement from Rick was what motivated me to write gospel songs and send them out. And that encouragement keeps me going.

I've gotten some positive notes from songwriting great Neil Enloe, too. If Rick and Neil believe in my ability, I must be on the right track.

I love you, Rick. This business needs you.

Chris J. Becker
Cedar Rapids, IA

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