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It’s no secret that relationships between pastors and worship leaders are unique. I think pastors and worship leaders alike would agree that this relationship dynamic takes a huge amount of effort and communication. This month I would like to make some suggestive commentary on the semantics of this relationship from the worship leader/artist’s perspective.
Without getting into leadership techniques and personality types I think there are just a few things that I think help maintain and nurture this relationship:

1. Open and honest communication…No big surprises here. Good communication is key in any relationship. The focus here is on open and honest. I have heard of and even been a part of organizations that see the mere desire to be open and honest as subordinate and even disrespectful of the “authority above you…” What many pastors do not understand is that openness and honesty is an artist’s (or anyone’s) way of truly submitting to the authority of someone else. Being open and honest is being vulnerable. Honesty opens your character to correction and instruction. Openness initiates security and trust with another.

2. Mutual Respect… This one is a big. This is the two way street that is often treated like a one lane road. As with communication, respect is a big deal in any relationship but the key word here is mutual. In so many instances the only thing that is mutual in the pastor/worship leader relationship is misunderstanding. It is the worship leader’s duty to have a thoughtful understanding of the pastor’s role and responsibility to the congregation. Likewise, it is the pastor’s responsibility to understand the role of the worship leader and as a key spiritual leader on the church staff to discern the differences. One sure sign of a lack of respect is a lack of regard on one side or the other for the opposite party’s education and experience. Just because a worship leader may have taken a doctrine class in college does not make he or she an authority on the subject. Also, just because a pastor may have taken a church music course or did their internship in a church with a fantastic music program it does not give them the experiential or educational authority to critically comment on a musical arrangement or a singer’s tone or pitch. Each must submit to the other where their talents and spiritual gifts are lacking. Mutual respect means giving authority…not taking it.

3. Trust… If mutual respect is big then trust is “ginormous.” If there is no common trust then the relationship is doomed to be dysfunctional at best and likely will end up hurtful and wounding. Trust gives the permission to fail without dire consequence. Trust fosters creativity and risk taking. Trust allows the courage to act boldly. Trust is the utter confidence in the other’s character to pick you up if you fall and to hoist you upon their shoulder when you succeed. Sadly, I have seen the devastation of broken trust between pastor and worship leader. A worship leader accepts a position at a church, relocates his family and establishes himself in the community of believers. He is looking forward to the elder leadership of the lead pastor and gleaning from his experiential wisdom. Then, in a moment of immaturity or over-eagerness a question asked or action taken is seen as threatening to a, perhaps, insecure pastor and the next thing you know everyone is asking, “Where’d our Worship Leader go…?” Or, conversely, a worship leader comes into a church with an agenda from the beginning that he would spend time building relationships and at just the right time feel the “call” to begin his own ministry…Right across the street. No matter how sweet the situation might seem if there is not trust…get out! You see, no matter how many times a pastor has been burned or a worship leader has been misunderstood and manipulated you have to trust. In my opinion (funny how I always get that in there, huh…?) if we do not trust one another in the Body of Christ we cease to trust God. Though there are many untrustworthy acts that go on throughout the Church it is no reason not to trust. Use wisdom and discernment then trust. To trust a fellow believer is to trust that in and through Christ they will do and act rightly according to the Word of God and the leading of the Spirit. So, by trusting them we trust Christ. Will it go south sometimes…? Sure. But still trust…In God through Christ Jesus and in one another.

This short thesis is by no means comprehensive or exhaustive. It is just a few tidbits about a unique relationship and how it functions in the life of the church. Also, I do not claim to be an end all authority on the subject. I have been on both sides of this fence. I have had the good relationships and I’ve had the bad as well. Take them both and there ya have… I’m now in double digits regarding my sum of ministry years and I am still trying to figure it out.

Aaron Unthank
http://www.aaronunthank.com

Reader Comments

Ladies,
Good comments. Allow me to be a bit controversial for conversation's sake. You both put a lot of your emphasis on the pastor as the one "in charge" so to speak. You both spoke of pastors as visionaries. Actually, the biblical view of the spiritual gift of pastor has little to do w/ visoneering. It is more akin to a caregving teacher than the visionary leader... How would your comments change if the relationship was approached as a partnership of spiritual giftings and mutual submission to one another? What do you think...?

Hey Rev...
Thank you for your comments on worship leadership. I agree that a forced approach does create an intimidating worship environment and does not produce a sincere congregation of worshipers. There is one subtle inference in your response that I would like to respond to. In your commentary on your work in the church as a worship leader you capitalized the word "under" when alluding to your relationship w/ your pastor. If you mean "under" the way I think you mean it. You mean that the pastor is the absolute authority (under Christ) in that local body. If so, I have to take issue w/ that. Any time a church is set up w/ a senior pastor as sole authority on everything from the checkbook to the color of the choir robes it is a recipe for disaster. I will qualify this statement theoretically by this example... In the household most of the time the man or husband is seen as the authority figure and leader of the house and there is little qualm about that in most cases. However, as many things are concerned the man submits to his wife's authority. Things like nurturing the children, keeping and decorating the house, cooking and baking plus many other nuances of life. Does this submission make the man weak or less a leader...? No! It makes him smart...Not to mention well fed and wearing white sh

...Okay, sorry. My computer shut down for no apparent reason. Anyway, what I was saying is that the wife keeps the husband well fed and wearing white shirts instead of pink...If you know what I mean. The man submits to the authority of his wife b/c there are certain things she is naturally wired and gifted to do. Does it mean the husband is not he leader of his home...? Absolutely not! He is actually a better leader b/c he knows how to submit. There are many in ministry today that simply don't think that principle applies to the Church.

Alright...That is enough of a rant for today.

Hey Rev,
Thanks for your responses. I think I fully understand your perspective now. I appreciate your willingness to engage in discussion over this. You are correct about people rebelling against authority of all kinds church, civil and otherwise. But that's a whole other topic...

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